Saturday, November 28, 2009

Glee Episode 3: Acafellas - Tanning Privileges



This is what we call a total disaster ladies - I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits.





That's the smell of failure, and it's stinking up my office.



I'm revoking your tanning privileges for the rest of the semester.

Glee Episode 3: Acafellas - Mental Illness



Well, Erma.



I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this Glee Club successful.



You know, the way you use your mental illness to help these kids is really inspiring.



I'm shocked you're not married.

Glee Episode 3: Acafellas - Special Forces



You're sowing the seeds of destruction.



You know ladies, I learned a lot in Special Forces. I was on the strike team in Panama when we extracted Noriega.



We took out the shepherd, then we went after the sheep.



You need to go after these Glee clubbers one by one.



I want my full budget restored.



I need a fog machine.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Bringing Glee Club Down


We're going to bring this club down from within.


And I'm gonna get my boyfriend back.


I don't care so much about that.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Bone Structure


You know, Q, when I first laid eyes on you, I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester, though you don't have my bone structure.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Cease Fire


Cease fire on the waterworks. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to see it.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - No More European Dry Cleaning



Oh, Sue. The dry cleaners here are just as good as the ones in Europe.







Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Foster Care


My first thought was that your students should be put into foster care.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Hair


That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Push It

Aaaaah, push it!

YES!







Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Glee Club Ruled


When I went to school here, Glee Club ruled this place. And we're on our way back.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Yay, Glee!


Yay, Glee! Glee kids, hooray!

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Lady Justice


Lady Justice wept today.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Recommendation


It is my strong recommendation that both these students be hobbled.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Photocopy Bureaucracy


There is a very clear bureaucracy when it comes to photocopies. And you seem to think that these procedures don't apply to your students.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Resentment


I resent being told to hold on to anything, William! I will not be treated like a second class citizen because of my gender.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Copy Machine Use






That copy machine is for Cheerios use only. Paid for by alumni donations. I can't begin to fathom the damage you'd have done to the program had you broken it.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Rebellion


Gay parents encourage rebellion. There's studies on this.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Offensive


I know you're used to being the cock of the walk around here.


Offensive.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Soiled Delicates


Now, I'd be happy to offer you a job as my second assistant on Cheerios. You can fetch my gatorade, launder my soiled delicates. It'd be very rewarding work for you.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Euthanize It


You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy, elderly mother.

Euthanize it.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - What Will Wants


Let's break it down. You want to be creative. You want to be in the spotlight. Face it, you want to be me.

Glee Episode 2: Showmance - Island Of Misfit Toys


I was at the local library where I read "Cheerleading Today" aloud to blind geriatrics and I came across this little page-turner. Show Choir Rule Book. And it turns out, you need 12 kids to qualify for regionals.


Last I looked, you only had five and a half. Here. Cripple in the wheelchair.


I also took the liberty of highlighting some special ed classes for you. Maybe you could find some recruits.


Because I'm not sure there's anybody else who's gonna want to swim over to your island of misfit toys.